5 things to do to survive in an unhappy marriage


Marriage brings an inseparable union, mutual respect, companionship, happiness, and a lifetime of unforgettable loving memories. Or, that's what people tend to think while saying "I do".

 

Nobody dreams of an unhappy marriage.  Unfortunately, that's the sad reality of most wedlocks. Divorces and unhappy marriages are common. People choose separation when there's nothing left to bring the marriage back to life.

 

Yet, some choose to stay… not because there's hope left to resurrect the marriage or financial dependency, but because divorce is a huge step and not everyone feels quite ready to leave.

 

People confuse an unhappy marriage with being hopeless about their life. The reality is, that the reasons for staying in an unhappy marriage are various but you can still find ways to make life more positive and tolerable.

 

 

5 things to do to survive in an unhappy marriage

Staying in an unhappy marriage is backed by very strong personal reasons. However, here are a few ways to cope when you're not quite ready to leave -

 

 

1.  Get rid of expectations by practicing detachment

The major cause behind most unsatisfied marriages is unmet expectations. It's a loop where one partner keeps expecting the other to provide them with the love, care, affection, and respect that they're worthy of to receive nothing in return. In the end, nothing changes.

 

Detachment is the process of slowly withdrawing from your partner, both emotionally and physically. No, this wasn't the future you dreamt of on your wedding day. Yet, practicing detachment liberates you from the resentment, distress, anxiety, and frustration that come along with having expectations from your partner.

 

Think of it in this way - you live with your partner, manage finances and look after the children but no longer allow their actions to hurt you.

 

 

2.  Form new relationships and strengthen existing ones

Your relationships are the backbone of your mental well-being and happiness. It keeps your emotions regulated and your physical health in check.

 

Your relationship with your husband may be disturbed. But this doesn't mean you should refrain from making new relationships and strengthening the old bonds. Your relationship with your partner shouldn't be the only bond in your life.

 

Remember, this doesn't mean indulging in an affair. It's about creating meaningful connections with people who will stand with you in rain and shine.

 

Make friends with people who share similar interests. To avoid having a strained social life, start showing up on genuine invitations and make dinner plans with your loved ones once every week.

 

 

3.  Redefine your sense of fulfillment and purpose

Your marriage isn't what you expected it to be. Hence, you're not finding contentment and your sense of purpose may seem lost.

 

The best way to survive in such a situation is to stop looking for fulfillment in the place where you lost it. Instead, find solace in your own hobbies, goals, and interests.

 

Rediscover the beautiful aspect of life that was neglected because of your marriage. It may be anything - from spending quality time with your old buddies to achieving your fitness goals, to giving your best to your dream project, or finally getting your hands on your favorite instrument.

 

 

4.  Rebuild and heal with couples or individual therapy

Seeking therapy while living in an unhappy marriage helps cope with stress and acquire a positive outlook on life. Given your partner's wish, you can also seek couples therapy.

 

Couples therapy addresses a wide range of relationship issues each partner is facing and its implications on the other person. It can even fix the loopholes of a failing marriage and bring the couple closer.

 

If your partner is unwilling to participate in therapy, seeking professional help for individual healing is perfectly fine. Your therapist will teach you coping mechanisms, help you deal with trauma, and work toward a new life.

 

 

5.  Take better care of your mental health

I'm sure you have your own list of reasons why you decided to stay in an unhappy marriage. But there's no denying that it's negatively impacting your mental health.

 

Take all the time you need before taking a life-altering decision while following certain measures to cope with the situation. Such as -

 

       Mindfulness: Mindfulness helps you to savor the little things in life that lead to a happy and satisfying life. Not only that, but the practice of mindfulness also lowers blood pressure, relieves stress, and helps in a good night's sleep.

 

       Flow moments: A state of mind acquired by becoming fully immersed in an activity, such as - reading, painting, writing, and cooking.

 

       Yoga: Yoga decreases stress by increasing heart rate variability. It's a relaxing way to release trauma and establish a healthy relationship with your body.

 

 

Determining the best time to leave can save you from many painful experiences. But before you're ready, these are the things you can do to survive in an unhappy marriage.